We went west, and you should, too
We did see one black bear, but we didn't have to unholster even one of the four cans of spray we had. The black bear - not the grizzly Peter was hoping for - was headed away from us during a hike aroubd Jenny Lake in Grand Teton National Park. We were deep into the hike, and Jen and I were nervous. The bear didn't care, though, so we survived.
The closest we came to an actual animal attack was a bee during a picnic (Jen was the would-be victim) and a bison that blocked us while we were on another hike. We waited for him to mosey along, and other than getting a few side-eyes from him, we were fine. Bison can run 35 mph, which rivals a bear. I run maybe 3 mph. We were all happy to wait for it.
The drives and landscapes were just amazing. We went from snow on our first day that disappeared quickly to hot days where we wore shorts. A good breeze kept us from sweating a ton.
We saw beautiful vistas dotted with wildlife and verdant valleys, wastelands that you know held untold millions of creepy crawlies, and snow-covered mountains, crags that jutted up into the sky and stone mountains with stripes of color denoting environmental change over millennia. We hit the hotspots along with some spots that were lesser known but still amazing.
We stayed in AirBnBs, super cool local hotels and inns - The Elk Country Inn had a bed so tall I had to use a footstool get in, but it was worth every climb, and the Grizzly Lodge was so cool I didn't even mind spending most of that stop in the room while the other had a fun night out and Jeff made a new best (bro) friend by the campfire. We even glamped for a couple days, which is something I highly recommend and want to do again.
The food - other than an overcooked bison burger - was amazing throughout the trip. If you go, make your way to Silver Gate and have breakfast at The Log Cabin Cafe and dinner at the Beartooth Cafe in nearby Cooke City. You'll thank me. Pizza at Firehouse Pizzeria in Rapid City. Any meal at Under Canvass. Breakfast at the three Yellowstone lodges we stayed in were fine; dinners, well, two out of three ain't bad. The Old Faithful Inn might have been my favorite because we were in the original, log cabin section and could see Old Faithful from our rooms. We woke up to snow, and it was magical.
Jeff drove us through the Beartooth Highway, which had opened just two two days before and included parts at the top with snow piled higher along the roadway than the Ford Expedition we rented. He also drove us through the Needles Highway, which included a teeny hole through the rocky top where we worried the side mirrors might not make it through.
I drove a portion of the Big Horn National Forest, which included mountain passes that we didn't expect. There were times where it seemed we were hanging right on the edge of the world with nothing but air (and a rocky bottom) miles beneath us. If you've ever ridden with me and didn't like it, count your blessings you weren't along for this ride.
We also stopped in to see an archeological excavation site focused on an ancient sinkhole that once looked like a lovely watering hole. More than 60 adolescent male mammoths literally fell for the trap. According to the exhibit materials, they jumped in for a swim but couldn't get out because of the slippery shale that lined the basin. Their remains are under inspection now. It's possible that there are female mammoths in there, as well, but they haven't found any yet. Jen and I agreed that it validates the idea that boys are dumb.
It was a wonderful trip. We drove a lot, but we hiked a lot, too. The Badlands lived up to their name. It was so strange to see beautiful pasture then acres of stone that looked like a movie set from Dune or Star Trek. Oh! And the Devil's Tower. It really does seem like aliens dropped it there like you'd pin a location on your phone. You have to see this stuff up close to really appreciate it.
Anyone who's seen me in a while can attest: I am not in the best shape of my life. I'm pretty healthy, and fairly active, but I am a chubby, native Hoosier, past my prime. Indiana's average altitude is 719 feet above sea level, most of it flat.
Jackson Hole's elevation is 6,237 feet above sea level. Yellowstone is 7,732. The Black Hills are about 7,244, and the Badlands stand about 3,342.
For the most part, the Mainers (average elevation is 5,276 for them) were fine. But two days in to the trip, at thousands of feet higher than my lungs think is normal, I came down with a cold that filled my head with congestion. Oh, here's a fun fact: too many menthol cough drops might make you stop barking like a seal, but it's hell on your digestive system. Pay attention to the dosage, my friends...
The ability to breathe normally would likely have made the trip better, but that's about the only thing - other than finding Dayquil sooner - that I would change. I might add kayaking or horseback riding if we go back. And I would definitely go back. Of course that might be when the bear gets me. So maybe not.
Most of Jeff's photo's look like postcards. A few of mine are good. It's hard not to get great shots when the subject is stunning no matter where you stand. (All of the shots here are from Jeff or me, other than that first one of the bear.)
If you're looking for vacation advice, I'll rely on the editor of the Wabash Express, John Babson Lane Soule, who said, "Go west, young man" in 1851 if the interwebs are to be believed. Horace Greeley is credited with the quote four years later, which is why you think he said that. But no. Greeley denied it, too.
And here's a funny little bit of trivia: Soule was a native of Maine, born in Freeport. He moved to Indiana where he helped found what was to become my alma mater, Indiana State University, in addition to his newspaper and other work.
Regardless of who said what when, I encourage you - all of you - to go west. It's good to see how vast and varied this country is. Learn a little bit from the adolescent mammoths, though, and don't go jumping in without exploring the danger first, and don't forget the bear spray.
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